Faith Healing

For those of whom are suffering  from a mental illness, You may be feeling like you are lost and dont know what to do or how to get back on track. That is how i am feeling now. I went back to church last sunday and it really did help me feel better.  It has been years since i have set foot in a church. Sometimes believing in a higher power can be a cathartic feeling, Knowing that God has a plan for you. the sermon that was taught last sunday was about how god may not have planned what has been done to you, but that he set it up to teach you a lesson for what he has coming for you. The analogy he used was that there were 5 trees that have been planted, only 4 of the trees have grown to be big and strong and the last one was still  trying to grow, He had asked why the 5th tree has not grown to be big and strong . the gardeners said that they have been whipping it to be big and strong. What this means to me is that what has happened to you in the past may have been what you needed to learn the hard way in order for you to become bigger and stronger than you can imagine. I am not trying to force religion or faith in you. I am just letting you know what has worked for me. To me attending church gives me a sense of community and connection because knowing that you are not alone in your struggles and that people around you are not going to judge you and they are sincerely caring about you. The sermon was so powerful to me that i was crying the whole sermon. The lady that was sitting next to me was trying to comfort me because i was crying and with her doing that has made me feel cared for.

so in conclusion, going back to church has given me a sense of peace and believing in a higher power that does have a plan for me gives me the peace that my life will be purposeful.

suffering from depression while working

It has come to my attention that employers still do not know how depression and anxiety affect someones work performance. My employer knows that i suffer from anxiety and depression yet they still expect me to be highly motivated and high energy at work. My depression has gotten worse since a month ago. I am constantly tired and exhausted and have very little motivation to do my work. I have told them this as well and they are all well that’s a personal matter and that it should not be hard for me to be motivated and to get my job done. If they have been totally educated in how depression and anxiety affects a person and their personality they would be more understanding to a persons performance and not try to push them out of their comfort zone and then threaten them by saying that if you dont change your work performance that they will fire you. To me that is an unfair thing to do someone who can not help how their work performance is because of how they suffer from a mental illness. In this day and age mental illness has become way more prevalent than it has been in the past. Yet, employers have still not been educated on the subject and how it affects people differently. I know that others have probably had the same if not even a worse experience with their own employers and would agree with me that it is totally unfair to expect everyone to perform the same way. It is also unfair to tell them that it is not a try situation it is a do. If you do not know how depression affects certain people you can not tell them that it is not a hard thing to do and then generalize it by then giving an example that they do it all the time. If you do not suffer from depression, YOU can not put yourself in my situation or anybody elses situation who suffers from a mental illness. Yes if we did not suffer from depression or anxiety or any other mental illness our performance would be totally different than it is now. However, depression affects people negatively, we lose motivation to do the things we love to do and even the things that we have to do, we even have no energy to do anything else. we are constantly tired and exhausted and constantly try fighting all of those feeling.

how to cope with a suicidal death in the family.

Coping with a Suicidal Death in the Family

According to the article “How to Cope When a Loved One Commits Suicide”, a suicidal death in the family is way different than a natural death in the family. This is because a suicidal death is unexpected and will leave loved ones in shock. Here are a few ways on how to cope when a loved one commits suicide.

How to cope when a loved one commits suicide

It is okay to wonder why Most people who commit suicide don’t really leave a note describing why they committed suicide, Which leaves loved ones with a lot of unanswered questions.

It is okay to be angry When someone commits suicide the victim and the person who did it are the same and it is alright to ask yourself “how could he do this to me?” it is perfectly natural.

It is perfectly natural to blame yourself (but it is not your fault) Blaming yourself for what happened is a perfectly natural thing to do. We all want to think that there was something we can do to prevent it. However, it is not your fault to what had happened.

Stay in contact with friends and family Losing a family member to suicide can be a very depressing time of your life. Isolating yourself can lead to a deep depression and a never ending cycle. staying in contact with your friends and family can be a very therapeutic thing to do. Plus,  the death may have effected others around you too.

Make time for yourself In this society there is no real time to grieve their loss. grieving is an important part of the grieving process. make time to be by yourself and time to process things in your own time.

Seek professional help Most importantly If you feel like your grief is getting out of control please seek out professional help. is an affordable resource that can help you find the right professional for you.

living with depression part 2

living with depression

hello everyone, so you may have read my original post living with depression  and are probably wondering how  I have been doing lately. Well my depression has seemed to persist and get worse cause on my days off i would be sleeping throughout the whole day and ended up not doing my important errands that  needed to do. So far, it has been going on for a couple more weeks. even the week of christmas where my schedule had me of for most of the week i would just sleep the whole day off and still be so tired and exhausted that  still just wanted to go back to sleep. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow in the morning so i will definitely be telling my doctor about my recent sleeping habits. also, on a different subject i have recently gotten carpal tunnel from my work because of all of the repetitive hand movements. so now i i have to wear wrists braces throughout the whole day to not make it worse and i have been prescribed a heavy dose of naproxen (aleve) for my pain from my wrist. So, if i havent written another post  in a while itll probably be due to the fact that my carpal tunnel has gotten worse and cant type. but dont worry I am still coming up with more topics to write about.


Some of you maybe wondering why i write about my experiences with anxiety and depression. The reason why I write about my mental health experiences  is because to show others who may be suffering in silence that they are not alone in their suffering and that they can find a cathartic way to release the sadness and anxiety by having someone they trust and know they will support them no matter what and telling that person about their troubles. you can also write it in your journal and also by seeing a professional. which i highly recommend. is a cheap way of finding the right professional anytime you want. My site also has a lot of creative ways to release your stress and anxiety. the resource library and ways to calm down from anxiety are some of the resources that i have. if you need someone to talk to that will understand what you are going through i am always free and willing to listen to your problems and give you support.

the anxiety list

The holidays are just right around the corner which means that for some people it means happy times, family, friends and lots of love. However, To those who have mental illnesses like depression, anxiety etc… The holidays are days that are reminders that we are alone and lonely and hating life. because of all the happiness that we wish we had within ourselves. So with that all being said i have found a really easy and cool way to get rid of all of your anxiety. It is called the anxiety list. this is how it works you grab a pen and pad and you set up an exact time and day for 5 minutes or so and sit down and write down all of your anxieties for that day.  After you have done that, than you think about easy solutions for each of those anxieties and write the down. When those problem anxieties come up during your day you keep telling yourself that already have the solution to that problem and you have it covered. if new anxieties happen to pop up you write them down in your notebook and go thru the whole anxiety check list.

The Anxiety Checklist

  1. grab a pen and pad. Make a set time and day for you to sit down and write down all of your anxieties for that day before your day even starts. some recommend that you do it before you eat lunch. However,  it is up to you to find the right time and day for you to do this activity.
  2. . write down all of your anxieties for the day
  3. write down easy solutions to those problems.
  4.  when those anxieties come up. you just keep reminding yourself that you have got those solutions already down and not to worry a bout it
  5. if/when another problem anxiety happens to come up. you stop what you’re doing and write down that problem anxiety and the solution to that problem.
  6. keep u all of your thought journal writings to control and crush your anxieties.



Please keep coming back to my site to find easy and fun solutions for your anxiety and other mental illnesses..  If you have a topic or problem you would like me to publish i am just an email away.

standing up for yourself at work.

So for about a month i have been harassed and bullied by one of my coworkers. I have been biting my tongue and trying to tolerate her behavior and attitude towards me. However it had gotten to the point where i could not take it anymore because she was starting to get physical with pushing me out of the way because she didnt like how i was doing my job. I went directly to the chef and told him that i could no longer take the harassment anymore and that i had tried to tolerate it and tried to work with her but i could no longer take it anymore. the chef said that he would talk to her about it and then separated us so that i could be comfortable working and doing my job. However, she did not stop with the attitude and behavior so the next day i called out because i can not work with her anymore and that I will be filing a complaint against to human resources the next day and i did. The reason why i am writing about this because it is very important to stand up for yourself instead of trying to tolerate it you really need to report it to your superiors and human resources. Also, it is very important to document every single incident that happens with the other person so that you have proof that it happened. It is always an empowering thing to feel because you feel no longer helpless about the situation. I know this has hardly anything to do with mental illness. well , it kind of does cause if you keep holding in the anguish from the harassment it cant take a toll on your psyche.

The Meeting

So  yesterday I had a meeting with the chef, the HR lady christie and that god damn lady Alicia that i hate so much.  We talked about all of the issues that we have problems with and said that we were no longer gong to do them and try to get along. I absolutely meant what i said  and would try not to do the things i did and would try to be nicer and more respectful. After the meeting when we started working she went back on her word and was the disrespectful and rude self. So now im just going to document everything that she does to me and when i get a few pages im going to give it to Human resources and show them how she is with me and with the other workers in the kitchen. Yet another failed situation with human resources and with that god damn bitch.

When to tell a future employer that you have a mental illness

I have done some research on when you should tell a future employer that you have a mental illness in an interview. What i have found out is that you should only tell your interviewer that you have a mental illness if they ask you about your past performances in your previous jobs. just explain what happened and then tell them that it will not effect your performance in this job and that you will have a doctors note explaining your condition and that it will not affect your job performance. If they are understanding they will hire you and that is a good sign that you can trust them with any of your issues that you may have in the future with them. by law they can not discriminate against you for your mental illness. I did this research because in the past i was too honest with my interviews and it back fired on me. When the time comes and if they ask you about your past performances than you can explain to the interviewer your situation. otherwise it is not necessary to tell them anything about your mental health.

When and how to tell your employer that you have a mental illness

I am writing about this subject because it is an important thing to know and it has happened To me recently. A few days ago I got called in to the office by myself talking about an incident that has happened on the night before. I had blown up at one of my coworkers at work and had to tell them that I had a family emergency which is on my stepdad to me recently. A few days ago I got called in to the office by myself talking about an incident that has happened on the night before. I had blown up at one of my coworkers at work and had to tell them that I had a family emergency which is that my step that was in the hospital for a few weeks and we had just found cancer in him and that I wasn’t acting like myself and just Got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and blood but the first person to talk to me. Also I had to explain why I left my in hour early another time. I had to explain to him that I was having a panic attack and needed to take The break so I can Calm myself down. The supervisor that was working with late-night told me know that I couldn’t take a break and I needed to go finish my shift. I got so pissed off that I had just left my shift without telling her and apparently she or someone else had told Chef what happened. He asked me What brings on my panic attacks and I told him that being too overwhelmed brings on my panic attacks. I have to tell him that I have Anxiety and depression but that it does not affect my job. I told him that I will be bringing in a doctors note explaining my conditions and that it does not affect my work at all. He was sympathetic and that they need to be sensitive to to my conditions. Which brings me to my subject that I’m writing about if you think that you might be judged on your performance because of your condition it is imperative that she get a doctors note stating that you have this condition explaining what it is and telling them they will not affect her ability to work and that if it does happen that tonight pay tension to it and text you on it and that you will be doing a job efficiently. Your employer cannot fire you for your condition is that is against the law. By law they have to accommodate you in any of your mental health and physical conditions that you may have.

Coming soon

coming soon I will be  writing a post on when and now to talk and tell your employer that you have a mental illness. And also should you tell the person whose interviewing you that you have a mental illness. So stay tuned

living with deep depression

Living with depression

Living with depression can sometimes be debilitating. You may have days  where all you want to do is sleep all day and not wanting to do anything. which can make it hard to be motivated to get up and do things. that has seriously happened to me in the past few days where i just want to sleep all day and avoid any kind of human contact. I even was too depressed to even go back to work on sunday. even now it took motivation to get up and do things that were important to me.for example i have missed an appointment with my doctor cause i was so tired that i slept through my appointment, however, i did have the motivation to get up and go to my interview. Which, i believe that i nailed and will be hired by that company and work with special needs kids which is my passion and would love to do all day every day.In order to get up and go and do things when you are depressed you need to have some motivation to get up and go. like trying to get up and walk around and get exercise or the motivation to go to work like saying that you need the money to get something that you like.

10 common symptoms of depression

  1. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness: having a bleak outlook like feeling like nothing ever is going to get better in your life.
  2. loss of interest in daily activities: you dont care anymore about former hobbies, social activities and even sex
  3. Appetite or weight changes: significant weight loss or weight gain.
  4. sleep changes: either having insomnia especially in the early hours of the morning. or over sleeping
  5. anger or irritability:  feeling agitated ,restless or even violent. your tolerance level is low, your temper short and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
  6. Loss of energy: feeling fatigued, sluggish and physically drained. your whole body may feel heavy and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
  7. Self loathing. strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt, you harshly criticize yourself or perceived  faults and mistakes.
  8. Reckless behavior. you engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports. this symptom right here reinforces my previous post about people abusing and drugs and alcohol that have a mental illness.
  9. Concentration problems. trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things
  10. unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles and stomach pain.

I have had almost all of those symptoms. If you think you have had these symptoms and think that you may have depression I urge you to seek professional help. If you think you can not afford professional help you are wrong. the website can match you to a therapist that will be glad to help you out with your depression. If you are having feelings or thoughts of suicide. please call the suicide hotline at 18002738255.


One of the things that i find that work to soften your anxiety or depression is aromatherapy or even trying to pamper yourself. what i use twas go to bath and body workss and get scented candles like vanilla and eucalyptus and even lavender. I would take a relaxing scented bubble bath to relax and relieve my anxiety and depression.